


Owl's pining

by EdenLavandula



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdenLavandula/pseuds/EdenLavandula
Summary: Akaashi has had a crush on Bokuto for a longer while now. It seems that nobody knows about this. But what happens when Bokuto starts hanging out with Akaashi more and more? Will he be able to confess? Or will his doubts and worries prevent him from doing so? What if Bokuto likes him back? But what if he doesn't? Whatever the outcome, he will have to survive somehow. And it doesn't seem like it'll be easy.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 23





	1. What did I agree to?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first attempt at a fic, so please have some patience. I have proofread this, but it is not betaread by any other person. I have caught up with the anime, but not the manga, so some things I know from the wiki, but not everything. Some elements might be canon divergent, but I will try and stay as close to the original canon as possible, including trying to represent the characters as close to the original personalities as I can. Other than that, I am pretty confident in this fanfic, so enjoy, because I sure enjoyed writing it!
> 
> (Obvious) disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!! or any of the characters or elements used within, I just used them in this non-commercial fanfiction because I love the show and want to share my Bokuaka love!

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Akaashi heard the myriad of shoes sliding across the floor of the Fukurōdani gym as he entered it. It was time for morning practice. Everyone was already there, including his best friend and secret crush - Bokuto. Many months ago, when he first developed his crush, his face would flare up a bit whenever he saw the white-haired student, but now he’s gotten used to it… at least as much as one can get used to a crush.

“Oi, Akaashiiii! We’ve been waiting for you!” he hears Bokuto yell.

“I’m here right on time, it’s you lot who got here early,” Akaashi replied.

“Well, true, but if everyone can get here earlier, so can you!”

“I’m already here, so get off my case already, will you?”

Akaashi wasn’t in a rush, he arrived exactly on time, so there should have been no problem with that. Then why is Bokuto getting so worked up?

_Not everyone has the energy to run straight out of class into the gym once the bell rings. You’ve already gotten into trouble for doing that, Bokuto-san, but it seems old habits die hard._

There wasn’t any time to think about the time, though, since Akaashi barely caught a ball flying straight at him. It looks like everyone was raring to go and practice. Now it’s time to train hard, so that he can make sure they win their next match. After all, there is nothing better than seeing his teammates (and especially Bokuto) smile.

Collecting the last stray balls on the court, Akaashi was slowly reciting the material he had studied that day. He was still a bit tired from learning all day, but running around and jumping work miracles when it comes to after-school fatigue. And being around people one likes makes the sleep go away too. One-hundred and six times - that is the amount of times Akaashi had tossed the ball to Bokuto during practice that day. Yes, he would always count them, and yes, he was a bit embarrassed by it. But the enjoyment he got from seeing his smile was greater. After there were no balls left on the court, it was time to wheel the cart into the storage room, change and go home.

“Akaaaashi,” said Bokuto suddenly, startling the 2nd year student as he was about to leave the gym, “say, when was the last time we hung out together?”

Akaashi didn’t really understand the question, after all, they would go out with their team all the time, which he was very much aware of, considering the two of them always sat next to each other, which was both pleasant and painful. The black-haired boy replied: “Well, we always hang out together at practice. And when it comes to outside of school, I think we went out for BBQ last Saturday with the othe-”

“Yes, yes, but when was the last time only the two of us hung out together, like the best friends we are?” interrupted Bokuto, hugging Akaashi from behind and resting his head on his friend’s shoulder, “I feel like you don’t want to be around me anymore. Is that why you’re never early for practice?”

Akaashi knew perfectly well that Bokuto was just teasing him, but he had a point. The last time only the two of them had hung out was almost a month ago when they went to the arcade together. But a much more pressing issue was the sudden physical contact. Sure, he tried getting used to being shown affection from Bokuto, but no matter how much time had passed, he could never get used to this. He was trying his hardest not to blush and stutter.

After taking a deep breath, he replied calmly: “I guess you do have a point. Well, is there something you’d like to do?”

“Well, we could always hang at your place. When was the last time we played some good old video games together. Screaming, nearly breaking the controller, eating snacks, you know - the usual. Isn’t it time to do that again?”

“If that’s what you want, we can do that. When do you have time?”

“Huuuh, what’s with that half-assed response? Can’t you be a bit more enthusiastic? But I’m free whenever, so how about this Saturday at 5?”

“Sure, works for me. Regarding your previous questions - no comment.”

“Wow, I see how it is, Akaashi, I’m hurt, but we have a deal,” Bokuto said as he faked a sniffling noise before waving goodbye to the younger student and going home.

Akaashi waved back, but then the realisation hit him. This would be the first time Bokuto came over to his place after he had developed a crush on him.

_Oh no. What did I just agree to? I hope it won’t be too awkward, I just can’t let my crush show too much. But I should be fine, right? After all, I’m around him all the time and it doesn’t seem like he noticed. But we’ll be there alone this time, so what if I say something stupid. No! It doesn’t matter what I think, it’s too late to back out now, so I need to prepare the best I can._


	2. The visit

_Is my hair okay? My clothing is okay, right? Is it not stylish enough? I put on some jeans and a black sweatshirt, but what if he expects something more fancy? But he wouldn’t, right? This is just a normal visit for him, right? Wait, what if he expects me to look slobby? Is this too much maybe?_

Akaashi had been standing in front of the mirror for about fifteen minutes now, constantly fixing small mistakes on his appearance, like wild strands of hair or wrinkles on his clothes. It was 4:55 and he was already overstressed from the mere thought that Bokuto would come over. But this wasn’t a novelty to him - after all, they had stayed over at each other’s houses plenty of times since they became friends, so why should his crush on Bokuto change anything? Plus, it’s not like Bokuto himself would notice anything… right?

Four more minutes passed in a flash while he was overthinking and suddenly a wild knocking on the door resounded throughout the house. This had to be Bokuto. He was early too, so this was _definitely_ him. Quickly running down the stairs from his room, nearly tripping and falling, he briskly opened the door and was met with a familiar face.

“Akaashiiiii, long time no see!” shouted Bokuto happily as he flung himself onto Akaashi and pulled him into a tight hug.

Trying to control his panic as best as he could, the black-haired boy quietly replied: “We literally saw each other yesterday, what are you talking about?”

“Yeah, that’s a long time, isn’t it? Plus, I couldn’t wait for today to come, I’m so excited!” the white-haired boy exclaimed as he let go of his kouhai and invited himself into the house.

“I think you know where my room is, so I don’t have to tell you, right? Oh, did you eat already? I can cook us dinner if you’re hungry later, since my parents are away.”

As Akaashi mentioned the word “cook” Bokuto was already up in his room, but his booming shout could be heard clearly and _loudly_ even downstairs: “Are you serious?! You can cook?! Who cares if I’ve eaten or not, I’ll eat my best friend’s food any day of the week!”

At the word “friend” the lovesick boy couldn’t help but wince in pain a bit. It’s true, they had been very good friends with each other, but it still hurt that they weren’t **boy** friends. Not like there was any hope of that happening, since, at least from what Akaashi knew, Bokuto was straight as could be. He regularly talks about girls, has dated multiple girls during highschool and has never shown any interest in boys whatsoever. Still, Akaashi could dream, right?

They had been playing on his console for about an hour now. During that time, they had managed to talk about a lot of things: their volleyball club members, school work, future careers, parents, siblings, holiday plans and more. It really was like the old times, just good old fun and banter, no complicated feelings or overthinking. Akaashi was a bit relieved that it was easier to suppress his crush than anticipated.

The score in the cart game Bokuto picked was pretty even, but Akaashi was winning by a tiny bit - out of the eleven tracks they had played, he won six. He wasn’t even that good at cart-racers, but it seems Bokuto was worse. Yet soon, the senpai raised his arms in a triumphant pose, as the score was now even: six-six.

“Hey, Aaaakaashi, what do you say we make a bet?” the white-haired boy suggested with a suspicious grin.

Caught aback by this comment, Akaashi replied after being stunned for about ten seconds: “I mean, I guess we can? What do you mean by ‘bet’?”

“Well, the one who loses the next track will have to do something. As for what that something is… I still need to come up with that.”

“Wow, way to go and think things through, captain. Well, I’m fine with a bet, as long as it’s nothing too extreme.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I did think this through, just not… through through. Oh! Remember what we do when we bet with our team? We get the loser to pull a prank call on someone. Like, I don’t know, that time I had to call my sister and tell her how much I loved her. Ugh, we both hated it.”

Chuckling slightly at the memory, Akaashi replied: “Sure, let’s do that. But, please, don’t come up with something too extreme or god-forbid illegal, okay?”

“What do you take me for? I already have an idea on who you’ll call when you lose.”

“‘When’ I lose? Hah, you wish! You’re going down!” said the black-haired boy full of optimism.

But as it turns out, Bokuto’s wish might have come true. Akaashi lost and would now have to go through with the bet. Who would he let him call? His parents to tell them something embarrassing? Maybe the other team members and have him compliment them to no end? He truly had no idea. And what came was worse than what he had imagined.

“How about you call Kuroo-kun and act as if ‘confessing your love’ to him? Can you imagine his reaction? It’ll be a blast! Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to tease him about it. I can give you his number.” said the white-haired boy, followed by a hearty laugh, but he was the only one laughing.

Akaashi was panicking. Why was he so uneasy about this? It’s not like it’s something difficult to do, and it’s not more embarrassing than the other options. But it felt wrong. Was it even that weird? Maybe it was normal for the others? Was it normal to do pranks like this? Would his panic give him away? He had to play it cool and try to get Bokuto to change the punishment to something else.

“Huh? But I don’t even know Kuroo-san that well. Wouldn’t it be a bit awkward to just confess out of the blue?”

“Well, doesn’t that make it better for you? Since you don’t know him, you don’t have to fear any consequences, do you?”

“But wouldn’t it be more fun to actually call someone we are both close to? That way it’d be more embarrassing for me,” Akaashi said, desperately grasping for arguments which would not make him confess to another man.

They sat in silence for about 15 seconds, before Bokuto finally said: “Well, I guess you do have a point. Hmmm, so who else then? You could always call Komi and tell him… or… hmmm… I don’t know. You know what? Let’s just keep your punishment for later, when we come up with something.”

_Oh thank you. I managed to escape that situation. I can’t imagine confessing my ‘love’ to Kuroo while my true love was next to me. Wait, true love? No, no, no, that’s the wrong way to think about it. He’s just a crush, I can’t really talk about love. Plus, it’s one-sided. But, wait, doesn’t Bokuto-san seem a bit… quiet now? Why did he quiet down so suddenly? No way, does he know why I didn’t want to call Kuroo? No, he can’t have figured that out, right? Even I don’t fully know the reason, after all. Or do I?_

His overthinking was soon interrupted by Bokuto saying: “Well, about that dinner you mentioned. Could you cook us something?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting for the next chapter! I'm very grateful to each and every one of you who reads this~ Regarding the update schedule (and if I have any in the first place), I plan on updating at least once per week, but maybe multiple times if I'm particularly fast at writing. I can't really specify, since this is my first time writing a big project like this, so please be patient, but rest assured that I itch to bring out new chapters!


	3. On a positive note

_Well, that was about as bad as I had imagined. I don’t think there is much else that could’ve made it worse. Honestly, this whole day is a mess - what was that whole dare thing about? Did he have that prepared? But it’s Bokuto we’re talking about here, I don’t think he’d have a reason or motive to plan such a thing beforehand. Ugh, this is bad, I’m thinking too much again. But at least I get to cook now, that should make a nice distraction._

After focusing all of his attention on the task at hand, Akaashi started checking all the ingredients. Carrots? Check. Sweet Potatoes? Check. After checking about 13 different types of vegetables, he was content with his choice, and was confident this would turn into a great vegetable stew. Was there something else to be done before starting to cook? That’s when he remembered he wasn’t just cooking for himself. Bokuto, who had followed him into the kitchen downstairs, was waiting at the table, browsing the internet on his phone.

“Say, Bokuto-san, would you like to add anything to the stew?” asked Akaashi.

“Ooooh, we’re making a stew? Let me look at what you have.”

After examining the ingredients laid out before Akaashi, Bokuto frowned a bit and replied: “But… where’s the meat? Isn’t there supposed to be meat in a stew?”

“Well, I was planning on making a vegetable stew. Do you not like it like that? Do you want me to add meat?” the black-haired boy asked apologetically.

“Well, meat makes you grow strong, so I think we both could benefit from having meat in our diets. Don’t you want to gain more muscle, Akaaaashi?”

“I mean, I guess you have a point? If you want meat, I can add some meat,” he replied as he went over to the fridge to get some meat.

The senpai still wasn’t content, clearly voicing his complaints: “Can we also leave out the peppers? I don’t like them all too much…”

“Hmmm? Why is that? Do you not like peppers? You always eat them when we go out with the rest of the team, though.”

“Well,” a slight blush creeped onto Bokuto’s cheeks, “to be completely honest, I just want to act tough in front of the team. In reality, I really, **really** dislike peppers, y’know? Even worse if they’re very spicy.”

Akaashi smirked a bit at the abashed boy: “You can be such a baby, you know that? But sure, I can leave them out.”

“And, uuuuh, do you mind not telling the team? I don’t want them to think less of their beloved captain because of this,” added the white-haired boy quietly.

“Why would they think less of you just because you don’t eat peppers? Don’t you think you’re overreacting a tad much? Since when are you so uncool?” asked Akaashi with a smile on his face.

“You think I’m uncool?” asked Bokuto with an obviously over-dramatic whiny voice, “See? You just proved my point. You just think less of me now!”

The black-haired boy couldn’t help but giggle a bit before replying: “Well, I guess you’re so uncool now that I won’t even set for you anymore.”

With a genuinely frightened expression Bokuto instantly replied: “Akaashiiiiii, don’t even joke about that! I can’t imagine being set by anyone but you!”

Being slightly proud of just how much influence he had on the senpai, Akaashi reassured him: “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about the great pepper debacle. And I won’t stop setting for you either… probably.”

“Thanks. But what’s a deba… “debarkle”? Can’t you use more simple language? Sometimes it feels like you are the older one between us.”

The kouhai didn’t feel the need to answer that question, but simply smiled at his friend as he actually started cooking.

After a few hours, the time of the recipe prolonged by their banter and fooling around, Akaashi had finally managed to finish cooking the formerly-vegetable-now-meat stew. As he slowly poured two servings, he could feel the cheery atmosphere still present.

_It’s so nice to be able to hang out with Bokuto this casually again. It’s too bad he’ll have to go soon, since it’s so late. But we should just enjoy the moment while it’s still here. It feels so good just chatting and talking about random stuff. It seems as if he has forgotten the whole bet idea, thankfully. And we even get to eat dinner together. It feels nice to be able to cook while someone’s around, it almost feels so familial. Hopefully, I can do it again with… with my future wife, yes, because that is going to be my future, just like everyone else’s. And Bokuto’s wife will be cooking for him, or maybe he’ll learn how to cook for his wife… Everything will be as it should be._

The joyful mood had suddenly darkened a lot, Akaashi visibly furrowing his brow while thinking. He brought the two bowls of food to the table, placing one in front of his friend and another one at the opposite end of the table for himself, the distance of two pairs of chairs separating them. The noticeable drop in his feelings wasn’t left unnoticed. With concern in his eyes, the white-haired friend looked at Akaashi, himself feeling a bit under the weather as he could see the energy leave out of his kouhai’s body.

“What’s the matter? If it’s about the dare, you can forget that. But you should smile a little more. Please?” said Bokuto cautiously.

The black-haired boy was a little taken aback by how easily he had let his discomfort show. He clearly hadn’t expected to be called out like this. But he had to take responsibility for his actions and make sure that his friend wouldn’t feel bad because of him.

After gathering his thoughts for a while, he forced a smile and said: “Thanks, that dare was always on my mind. But now that that’s out of the way, I feel much more at ease. So let’s eat, shall we?”

That was a lie. But hopefully not too blatant of a lie so that Bokuto could pick up on it. Though Akaashi couldn’t have noticed if his lie had been found out or not anyways, since he instantly turned his gaze to the bowl right in front of him, did the proper formalities, and started eating - slowly, but surely.

But Bokuto wasn’t ready to eat just yet and said: “You know, I meant that you could smile more in general, not just right now. You’re always so focused on everything, but your smile is really pretty to look at, so there’s no reason to hide it. And if anything or anyone is bothering you, you can just tell me, and I’ll help you through it, okay? We aren’t best friends for nothing, duh. And I know you’d do the same for me in a heartbeat.”

Apropos heartbeat, the black-haired boy’s heart was suddenly beating really fast. Those were some kind words of reassurance he had not expected. Yet he couldn’t help but smile after hearing them. He didn’t answer, just continued eating his food together with his friend. The atmosphere seemed to have brightened up again.

They were at the front door. Neither of them really wanted the visit to end quite so soon, but it was already dark out. Akaashi opened the front door slowly, as if to delay the inevitable. But the door was already ajar, Bokuto was leaving for that day.

“You know, we could always turn this into a sleepover, it’s Saturday after all,” Bokuto suggested, only half-joking.

“We both know you need to go home for today, after all, your parents have never been the people who liked spontaneous plans,” Akaashi laughed, “but we need to start meeting up again more often. Today was really fun!”

“Well, you’re right about that, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a sleepover on a later date,” Bokuto said excitedly.

“True! But before we plan that far ahead, we should probably focus on you getting home as soon as possible. Maybe you’ll manage it before your parents start to freak out. Because if that were to happen, I don’t think we’d be able to meet up any time soon, sleepover or not.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right. Well, bye Akaaaaashi, I need to run now! See you at school on Monday! Thanks for the food and good time!” Bokuto exclaimed as he was already half-sprinting out of the door.

“Bye! No worries! Next time, you’ll just be the one to cook!” the black-haired boy said, but he wasn’t sure if Bokuto had heard, since he was already on the sidewalk.

_Well, this could’ve gone a lot better. But a lot worse too. And here I was, panicking that it’d end in a disaster. I mean, it wasn’t far off at times, but Bokuto saved the day… like he always does. I’m lucky to have him as a friend, and wanting anything more would be greedy and ungrateful. That’s why I should just try and overcome this crush of mine as soon as possible, so that I can focus on being friends with him to the fullest._

Already deep in thought again, Akaashi slowly closed the door again. It was suddenly a lot quieter in the house without the loud student around. But he had found a new resolution - one that would motivate him to exert all the effort he could - becoming even better friends with Bokuto than they already were. It was time to do the dishes and clean up any other mess which they had left behind. After all, when they hang out together next time, everything should be tidy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Thanks for waiting for the update! Sorry you had to wait a bit longer, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I also hope you'll tune in for the next one!


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